Monthly Archives: September 2010

The Day the Laptop Died

Hello HOTR-Readers! Just a quick post tonight to make a not-so-great announcement.

Sunday night, my trusty ancient, crappy old laptop that I’ve been using to blog all these months suddenly died on me. This is the second time it’s happened within the past few months, and this time it looks like it’s for good.

What this means for the blog is that all blogging-related activities have been temporarily suspended. It’s pretty hard to write posts on my phone and though I’m thankful to have that feature, it’s not realistic to think I can continue to post from it on a regular basis. I’m not sure how long this hiatus will last. I’m in the process of trying to figure out what to do next (read: waiting for a pot of money to fall from the sky so that I can afford a new computer), so it may only be a week…or it may be longer. There’s a chance that I’ll be able to post occasionally from another computer while I’m working out a resolution, but there’s no guarantee. So at this point, I think it’s safest to say I won’t be blogging.

Of course, this also means that I am extremely happy to accept guest posts during this break (*cough* Mom *cough*). So if any of you have the gumption to write a guest post for HOTR, please let me know! I’d be extremely grateful and can have my trusty assistant (read: EC) get them online for ya.

Finally, because I don’t want to leave you without anything interesting or useful to read, here is a link to a great post by Marion Nestle on her blog Food Politics (if you aren’t already reading this blog, I highly recommend it!).

FTC says no to POM Wonderful advertising claims

The article is in regards to the controversy currently surrounding POM Wonderful‘s not-so-wonderfully-honest health claims. If you haven’t heard about this, the FTC has issued a complaint against Pom Wonderful, saying that the drink’s claims to do things such as reduce the risk of heart disease and prostate cancer are false and unsubstantiated. Now POM is fighting back and suing the FTC, basically saying that these claims are protected by their first amendment rights, and that they have research that “proves” the power of these antioxidants.

What Marion Nestle’s post does is serve as a great reminder for us consumers to be wary of the truth behind all this “research” by companies to prove the benefits of their products. The design of a research study is extremely important, and it can be manipulated to give the researchers the results they’re looking for. So when you read health claims from companies that seem too good to be true (and yes, even healthy food companies make them — it is all about marketing their product and making a profit, after all!!), take a step back and try to read between the lines. Chances are, there’s a lot more to the claims than meets the eye.

And with that, I’m out! Keeping my fingers crossed I’ll be back sooner rather than later.

Lazy Girl’s Lentil Burgers

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This week, I haven’t felt much like cooking. Blame it on a bad case of post-relay blues, or on being over-tired, or because I found a couple fleas on my disgusting, dirty, lovable furball the other day which has made me itchy ever since. Whatever the reason, when it comes time to make dinner, I’ve been feeling rather uninspired.

I could’ve gone out to dinner, or gone grocery shopping to find some new foods that might inspire a burst of cooking, but I’m trying to save money and put off the grocery shopping until the weekend. So instead, I’ve been surviving on simple, one-dish dinners, doing everything I can to avoid eating oatmeal for every meal.

It finally hit me last night how dumb I was being. Instead of trying to make a dinner from scratch every night, why not just cook a big batch of something simple and use that as the basis of my meals for the rest of the week? Essentially, Meal Planning 101, but hey…sometimes I’m a little slow on the uptake.

So I filled a pot up with water and got to work boiling a nice big pot of lentils.

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pot of lentils

My original plan was to actually try Alex’s Lentil Meatballs. But a quick glance in the cupboard reminded me that I didn’t have any tomato sauce or paste or anything, so I changed my mind. Instead, I figured I’d whip up the next best thing: a lentil burger, because it’s quick and easy and because well, if you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time, you’re probably convinced I eat nothing but Mexican food and veggie burgers. And why change that pattern now?

Making these burgers was super easy and just based on stuff I already had in the house. Earlier in the week I had made some Spicy Black Bean Avocado Dip, but used a little less avocado to give it a thicker consistency. I basically just mashed that together with some cooked lentils, breadcrumbs, and a little extra salt. Another super easy recipe for all you lazy cooks out there.

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These came out a little flimsier than your typical bean burgers, but are incredibly delicious. I love how hearty lentils are, and how they easily take on the flavoring of other things. They’re cheap, nutritious, and with a little side of veggies, provide a much more rounded meal than a bowl of oatmeal (as delicious as that may be).

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Lazy Girl’s (or guy’s!) Lentil Burgers

Makes 2 patties

Ingredients

Directions

Mash lentils and black bean avocado dip in a bowl with a fork. Once it’s well combined, slowly add in your bread crumbs. You want the mixture to stick together well enough to form a patty, but you don’t want it to be too dry (hint: if the mixture feels too dry and falls apart in your hands, add a little water. Just run your hands under the faucet and shape the patty with wet hands.)

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Cook on medium-high heat in a greased skillet (a little EVOO or Pam works about the same) for about 4 – 5 minutes until bottom is golden brown. Flip and repeat.

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DSCN1031Sometimes Koli likes to get in on the excitement

And there you have it. Another simple veggie burger recipe that took all of 10 minutes! Makes me wonder why I ever bothered buying Morningstar…

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To round out the meal, I had my favorite “lazy girl’s” dessert:

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Candy corn + peanut butter. Don’t knock it till you try it. It’s salty, sweet and downright addicting. And as an added bonus, it doubles as the perfect running fuel. ;)

Reach the Beach Relay Race Recap

Back in June, EC and I took a risk – we were so desperate to run the Green Mountain Relay in VT that we decided to join up with a team of complete strangers. Because what could possibly go wrong when spending 2 days trapped in a van with a team of 12 runners we had never met?? …right?

Fortunately, the experience ended up being so amazing that I put out a similar plea to teams running the Reach the Beach Relay in New Hampshire. EC and I quickly found another team that was in need of a couple extra runners. We immediately signed up, putting our luck to the test once again.

Reach the Beach start At the start of RTB 2010

I figured that since I dragged my sister into the last race, I was in need of a new “victim” for this one – another person to indoctrinate into the wonderful world of adventure relays. The problem is that most of the time when I mention how fun it is to run 15+ miles over incredibly hilly terrain with almost no sleep, showers, or rest, people look at me like I’m crazy. They don’t quite understand where the “fun” part comes in.

That all changed that fateful day I met Becky for the first time. When I mentioned I was running RTB and our team needed another runner, I never really expected she’d say yes. Little did I know, she was just crazy adventurous enough to take on the challenge. And did my new “victim” enjoy the experience? I’ll let this picture speak for itself.

Becky transition RTB(You can also read her recap of her very first adventure relay here.)

Hands down favorite picture of the entire weekend! It perfectly sums up the emotion of running an adventure relay (and the awesome person Becky is!). Despite all the soreness and exhaustion, there is no better feeling than coming up to a transition point and seeing your team waiting for you and cheering you on. It’s this joy and sense of team bonding that make the relay so wonderful. And keeps me signing up, year after year.

A Journey of 209 miles Begins with a Single Step

My second running of RTB started off with a very early morning. Waking up at 4:40 am on Friday, I felt groggy, sick…and jittery with excitement. I was super nervous going into this race since I had been sick all week with a chest cold, and actually hadn’t run one step since my 20 miler last Sunday. I wasn’t sure how my legs would feel and my lungs would hold up over nearly 22 hilly miles.

Our team arrived at Cannon Mountain in the rain, fog, and mud. Almost exactly the same weather as the start last year (I’m starting to think this is just typical Sept weather in NH).

RTB Start_Canon Mtn

Fortunately, after going through all the safety checks, the rain started to let up a little bit. The air was cool and crisp – the perfect day for running.

Before you can start any relay, however, you have to complete a very important task – decorating the team van. A well decorated van is critical to relay success.

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Our team was actually starting off under very stressful conditions. One of our lovely teammates had stood us up at the very last minute without so much as a phone call or an email letting us know he wasn’t actually planning on coming. Which meant that the runners in Van 2 would have to take on extra legs at the last minute. Unwritten rule #15 of adventure relay racing states that if you choose to bail on your team without being decent enough to even send them a note, you will be hated by 11 runners for all of eternity….or at least subject to the brunt of all jokes for the entire weekend.

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To make matters worse, we had a very late start time. Relay officials stagger the team starts based on your projected pace. The slower teams start early in the morning while the elite teams don’t start until around 4 in the afternoon. This supposedly takes into account the extra time some teams need to finish before the course closes at 8pm on Saturday night. Why we had a start time of 1:20pm, none of us will ever know. There must have been a mistake in the calculations, because even with our best guesses, we knew we would be under the gun to finish the relay in time. So not only would we have to make it through our legs, but we’d have to fly.

Fortunately, as our team name suggests, we all pretty much were born to run. ;) Despite the fact that we in Van 1 felt like we were getting passed by just about every other team on our first two legs, we all managed to run really well.

My Legs

I was Runner Number 2, which meant I ran Legs 1, 14, and 26.

Our first set of legs as a team went really well. We ran in the afternoon, in perfect weather, with the sun just starting to peak out from behind the clouds. The excitement of the race helped push us all along, and we ended up making it to the first transition point much quicker than expected. For the first time, we had a glimmer of hope that we’d actually make it before the course closed down.

My first leg was the longest I’ve had to run in a relay: 8.96 miles. And the second half was all uphill. An intimating start to the weekend, to say the least.

DSCN0933Staying warm before the start

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Despite feeling sick before the start, once I got moving my legs felt really good. The climbs were gradual enough that they actually didn’t seem all that bad, and my lungs cleared up just enough to let me breathe easy the whole way through.

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My stats:

  • Total time: 1:05:37
  • Average pace: 7:20/mile

A few hours of down time, one bean burrito and a cup of coffee later, it was time to start the second set of legs! My second leg started off at 11:20 on Friday night – the perfect time to go for a run! ;) The mileage was a bit shorter, but the elevation I had to climb was higher, with the biggest hills being near the end. I thought about going out conservatively to save up energy for that final section, but once I got that snap bracelet in my hand, my brain turned off and I just let my legs carry me however fast they wanted to go. As I cruised along during the night, I started to gain more confidence (despite the fact that all the sponsored teams continued to glide effortlessly by me up those hills). I was reminded again how much I love these night runs. It’s just you, your footsteps, and the road. The air is cool and peaceful, and without any sort of visual cues to tell you otherwise, you feel like you’re flying.

My stats:

  • Mileage (according to my Garmin): 7.82 miles
  • Total time: 57:51:38
  • Average pace: 7:24/mile

By this time, I was more than ready for some sleep. I had been awake for over 24 hours and my body was beyond exhausted. Once we pulled into the next van transition area, I spread out in the back of the van and immediately fell asleep. It was the best sleep I’ve had in any of the relays I’ve run, and I slept like a rock for 2 wonderful, solid hours.

I woke up with the sun, stiff, sore, wheezing…yet strangely refreshed. With my legs and lungs tight, I knew this final leg would be tough. It was going to take a lot of mental strength to get through, but I knew I was up for a challenge. After another cup of coffee (thank goodness for caffeine!), my head was clear and the excitement built up once again. I was almost done!

My final leg was my shortest – only 5.12 miles separated me from my own personal finish line. I was looking forward to the fact that it was technically easier than my previous two legs (moderate instead of hard). Unfortunately, this run all but destroyed me. I don’t know if it was my tired legs or the run was poorly classified, but this leg was by far my hardest. I had two extremely steep hills that seemed to go on forever – one that led all the way up to the finish line. Each time I’d go over a crest and see another section of hill rising up in front of me, I just kept repeating to myself how lucky I was to be out running along a beautiful road in NH. How this was supposed to be fun. And how I could do anything for just a few more minutes.

RTB me and evGetting water and a pep talk from EC

Coming in to the finish of that run felt amazing. I couldn’t have been more happy to check off that final leg!

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My stats:

  • Total distance (according to Garmin): 5.14 miles
  • Total time: 39:44:21
  • Average pace: 7:44/mile

Overall stats:

  • Total distance: 21.9 miles
  • Total time: 2 hours and 43 min
  • Average pace: 7:27/mile

What I liked about RTB 2010

I enjoyed my second running of RTB so much more than my first. Despite having a chest cold, ironically I felt less sick all weekend than I did last year. Here are some things that made this experience so great:

  • Better fueling. I was much more intentional about eating enough before and after my legs, especially since I knew I would be eating up a lot of miles over the course of the relay. This was helped by the fact that I ran at pretty decent times. I was able to eat semi-regular meals to keep me fueled. I actually relied more on these and less on Clif bars, energy gels/shots, etc. Having real, solid food in me definitely helped energize me for runs – and kept my stomach/intestines from rebelling.
  • Prettier runs. This time, I was really struck by how pretty the scenery was. Myself and the other members of Van 1 had some really beautiful runs through the mountains and along the water. Having awesome views to look at really helped push me through the challenging miles.
  • Only sleeping after the second leg. During a 24-hour relay race, sleep time is at a premium. In the past, I’ve tried to grab a few minutes of sleep whenever I got the chance. But I’ve always ended up sleeping restlessly, too nervous about waking up in time to actually rest. And by the time I do get up to run, I’m left feeling groggy and sick. This time, Becky and I made the executive decision to commit to caffeine after our first run, and not to sleeping. We each drank a cup of coffee and passed the time chatting in the van, while our teammates slept soundly outside. This was the best decision I made all weekend. I was energized enough for my second run, and by the time I finished, exhausted enough to fall right to sleep. It also meant that my tired legs didn’t stiffen up until the last leg of the race.
  • A supportive, positive team. As I mentioned above, my team of misfits didn’t know each other at the start, and we were also faced with quite the challenge. But everyone came together to support each other during their runs, and stayed positive even when things got tough. I was so proud of how hard everyone pushed and how well we did overall.

What I Didn’t Like about RTB 2010

But with any event of this magnitude, there are always things that come up that are not so great. Overall, I thought this race was very well organized (the course was clearly marked and the staff was very helpful), but there were a couple of big things that I think are worth griping about.

1.) Our start time. Either most teams were lying about how fast they run, or there was some mistake in calculation (…or maybe we should just blame Buttermore…). In the past, I’ve felt like my team is relatively competitive with the other teams we start with. But this time we were clearly the slowest of the group. Although my team did an awesome job of rising to the challenge, the pressure to finish in time took some of the fun out of the race. Sorry RTB officials, but next year, I’m giving myself some cushion when I put in my projected pace.

2.) Transition Area #24 (VTA #4). Of all the transition areas in the race, I’ll admit I was most excited to make it to this one. New Balance had set up a bunch of tents in Bear Brook State park, and though they were being offered on a first-come-first-served basis, knowing there was a chance to find a tent that was already set up provided extra motivation to get through our night-time legs. Unfortunately, however, we never got that chance.

By the time we got to this transition area, the parking was apparently so full that they couldn’t accommodate our van. Even though we saw people leaving as we were coming in, the volunteers at this transition directed us to another parking area, about a half a mile up the road. Now, I understand that there are a lot of teams running RTB and things are bound to fill up quickly. And while I was disappointed that we didn’t even have a chance to see if there was an available tent, that isn’t what made me the most upset. What was really awful was the fact that they made us park in an area with no porta-potties or any other accommodations. The organizers should understand that at this point in the race, you are mentally and physically exhausted. (Plus, you’ve got to use the porta-john at least once an hour!). Your legs are sore, and every second of sleep that you can get is so extremely important. Forcing us to park somewhere and then walk back down a dark road to get to a porta-john in the middle of the night was pretty awful. Not only that, but officials came over and woke up my teammates who were sleeping outside the van, telling them that we weren’t allowed to sleep there. Despite all their protests, they were forced to get up, trek down to the actual transition area, and set up camp once again. It may not seem like much, but to a person who has already been awake for over 24 hours and has run countless miles, breaking up their sleep and making them walk extra was torture.

So, RTB – either find more room for the vans, or if you’re going to send people to a spill-over area, please at least provide a couple of porta-potties and let us sleep there!!

3.) The post-race meal. Picture this: you are exhausted. You’ve been living in a van for 2 full days, have run 22 miles, and haven’t had a real meal since last night’s dinner. You finally arrive at the end of the race, weary, smelly, and starving. You walk up to the tent and present your ticket for a free meal, excited to get some real, warm food in your body. Instead, you are faced with the worst post-race meal you’ve ever seen. Greasy potato salad, a veggie salad made up of iceberg lettuce, a couple tomatoes, and dripping with Italian dressing, and more greasy (cold) grilled vegetables. Oh, and for all the meat-eaters — BBQ chicken and clam chowder. There was not one substantial vegetarian option available. Yes, I know…most of the time, us vegetarians only need a couple of vegetables to fill us right up. But in this case, I could’ve used just a little more food. Even little GMR offered veggie burgers after the race. How hard/expensive could it be to cook up a bunch of beans?? Or provide pizza? Or even make a big pot of spaghetti? I know I wasn’t the only vegetarian runner there, and I really don’t think this was a great post-run meal even for non-vegetarians.

Reaching the Beach

209 miles, 28 hours and 53 minutes after taking off in Franconia Notch, NH our team finally reached the beach. The journey was long and tough, but I was so proud of how our team came together. I had such a fun time (despite all my griping), and am already excited about RTB 2011!

RTB finish_team picture

Now, after all this time, only one question remains:

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I guess we’ll never know…

Final Team Stats:

  • Time: 28:53:50
  • Average Pace: 8:17 per mile
  • Overall place: 171 out of 430 teams
  • Category place: (mixed open) 45/148

Congratulations team!! :)

What Does Listening to Your Body Really Mean, Anyway?

I loved reading all of your comments about my Meat-Eater’s Guide to Vegetarians. It was one of those posts that was a lot of fun to write, and I’m glad so many of you could relate. Feel free to print it out and bring it to your next social gathering. It could end up saving you a lot of time. ;)

This past weekend, I was faced with a dilemma. On Sunday, I was scheduled to do my longest training run yet – the longest I will do over the course of marathon training – the dreaded 20-miler. But since Friday afternoon, I had felt a cold taking hold of my body. By Sunday morning, the situation had not improved. I woke up with my head pounding, nose dripping, and shards of glass scraping my throat every time I tried to swallow. Needless to say, running 20 miles was the last thing I felt like doing.

sick guy sneezing (Source)

The standard school of thought about training while sick is to use the neck/chest rule. Symptoms above the neck are typically okay to run through – headache, runny nose, etc. But anything below the neck (like a chest cold) could be made worse by running. You don’t want to mess around with things like bronchitis.

So, according to the rule, one would think I was okay to run. But the fact that I wasn’t doing just any old run made the situation more complicated. Running 20 miles is an intimidating task even under the best of conditions. Your body takes a beating over the course of all those miles. I wasn’t sure how my already sick body would hold up. Would running for 3 hours turn my head cold into something worse?

Not only that, but this weekend I will be running the Reach The Beach Relay in NH. RTB (just like the GMR I did in June) is a 200-mile, 24(ish)-hour adventure race from Franconia Notch to Hampton Beach, NH. I am incredibly excited about it, but terrified of being sick. As it is, it’s going to be a really intense race. I’m running a total of 21 miles in 24 hours with minimal sleep. Being sick wouldn’t exactly make for a fun weekend.

reach the beach Logo

So with all that going through my head, what did I decide to do? After moping around and mulling it over for a couple of hours, I finally decided to heed the advice I so often give others (and the advice others were giving me via Twitter): Listen to my body. I was going to go out easy, do shorter loops close to the house and just see how I felt. A nice, simple plan, right?

Not exactly. I wasn’t really sure listening to my body even meant running in the first place! To be honest, the only thing I really felt like doing was curling up in a snuggie on my couch and watching trashy television all day long.

snuggie Disclaimer: Let it be known that I did not purchase this snuggie. It was a gift ;)

But my training schedule is already tight. And I knew skipping this run would only make things more difficult in the coming weeks. Plus, it’s pretty hard to separate out the nerves that come from facing a 20-miler from the reluctance to do it because I was feeling sick. Which meant I had to at least try.

By the time I got 10 miles into the run, I knew I was going to go for the full thing…even if it meant I had to crawl. I wasn’t feeling wonderful, but I wasn’t feeling completely awful either. To be honest, I’ve had worse runs. Much worse, actually. I figured that as long as I could continued to put one foot in front of the other (and not pass out), I’d be okay.

At this point, I had traded the old “listen to your body” mentality for another, more intense adage — “mind over matter.” I knew I wasn’t feeling great, but I also knew that if I had enough mental strength, I could make it through the run. That’s really a big part of what marathon training is all about, anyway — building up enough mental strength to make it through several grueling hours of running. And as a very wise runner said recently, 20 miles is supposed to be hard. It’s very likely that I could have felt just as bad during the run even if I hadn’t been sick. Should I have quit just because I was tired?

It was a question I battled with for 20 long miles. If I kept repeating “mind over matter” and telling myself I could push through it, was I ignoring the signs from my body? How can we tell when it’s more than just the average fatigue that’s slowing us down? Obviously there are times when you clearly need to rest – puking and collapsing during a training run come to mind as pretty clear signs that your body is trying to tell you something. But what about situations where it’s not that clear-cut? What about those times when you have to weigh the pain (and potential consequences) of pushing through the discomfort with the long-term benefits of endurance and mental strength it could bring?

I don’t have a good answer for that. I think it’s something we runners always grapple with, no matter how long we’ve been running for. And depending on our training schedule and goals, the answer could change every time.

In the end, I finished those 20 miles. And while I can’t say I enjoyed them, I was pretty proud to have made it. My time ended up being much better than I expected, and I proved to myself that I could finish a tough run, even in less-than ideal conditions. But was it worth it?

I’d like to say yes, but at this point, I’m still not so sure. That cold that started off in my head has now moved down into my chest. I’ve spent the last two days wheezing, coughing, and hoping this thing will run its course before Friday. Basically everything that I was afraid would happen as the result of my stubbornness perseverance, did. But in the end, training for this marathon is my ultimate goal. I want to make sure I do the best I can to be prepared for that 26.2 miles. Of course I don’t want the decisions that I make to negatively affect the relay, but it’s not my top priority.

So this week, the plan is to take it easy and get lots of rest. Hopefully I’ll feel as good as new by Friday. But honestly, no matter how awful I’m feeling, this relay is not something I’m missing out on!

puppy sick

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What do you think? Does listening to your body always mean ignoring putting your mind over matter? What would you have done in this situation? (i.e. do you think I’m crazy?? ;) )

The Meat-eater’s Guide To Vegetarians

Did you know? This week was Vegetarian Awareness Week! To be honest, I don’t really know what that means (was I supposed to give my non-vegetarian friends a speech about how great giving up meat can be?? Plaster signs on my cube? Or wear my No Meat Athlete shirt to work?), but I figure it’s as good a time as any to address all you meat-eaters out there. Because if it hasn’t happened already, there may come a time when you have to dine with/cook for/talk to your first vegetarian. And I know how overwhelming that can be. So to ease your fears and discomfort, here’s some basic words of wisdom to survive that first encounter*.

But first things first – we’ve gotta talk terminology. Most people who say they’re a vegetarian are what we call a lacto-ovo-vegetarian. These are people who don’t eat meat, but will eat eggs and dairy. Similarly, you may run across a lacto-vegetarian (someone who doesn’t eat meat or eggs but eats dairy) or an ovo-vegetarian (no meat or dairy, but does eat eggs).

Confused yet? Believe me, so are we! We don’t really like being put into all these boxes either. But we’re all human. And humans like to wrap things up into neat little boxes with a pretty little bow on top as a way to make sense of the world. So boxes is what we get.

vegetarian-IQ(Source)

Anyway, here are a few more terms for you:

  • A Vegan does not eat any animal products – no meat, no cheese, dairy, or eggs. Vegans also avoid foods that have been made with animal-derived products (like the gelatin in jello and marshmallows), or foods that are made with any sort of animal product, even though they may not actually contain animal products in the end (some wines, beers, sugar, etc).
  • A Pescatarian does not eat any type of meat except for fish.
  • A Flexitarian doesn’t eat meat most of the time. This is also called semi-vegetarian, and basically means that the person considers himself mostly vegetarian, but still wants to be able to enjoy that delicious piece of chicken/Thanksgiving turkey/steak once in awhile.

So now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here are the answers to all your most burning questions – before you even ask them!

vegetarian_hate_plants_shirt(Source)

1.) No, vegetarians do not eat chicken. I don’t care how white or supposedly healthy it is, meat is meat is meat. Same goes for fish. If confused, please refer to definitions above.

2.) Making a dish that contains meat and then picking all the meat out before you serve it does not make it vegetarian. Just because I can’t see the meat, doesn’t mean it’s no longer there. This is also true for soups. Making a vegetable soup with chicken or beef stock means that the soup isn’t vegetarian, even if it doesn’t actually have chunks of meat in it.

3.) Vegetarians don’t get all picky about Numbers 1 and 2 above just to make your life more difficult. Honest. Besides the fact that we just don’t want to eat meat (for whatever reason) is the fact that eating it can actually make us sick. After awhile, your body stops being able to digest meat – and so when a vegetarian unknowingly eats some, it’s not such a pretty picture.

cartoon_-_vegan_insomnia (Source)

4.) Vegetarianism is a lifestyle choice, not a religion. I follow the Gospel of Jesus, not the gospel of vegetables, thank you very much. I promise that we don’t all want to preach to you, judge you, or convert you to our abstaining ways. Believe it or not, my friends and boyfriend are still happily eating meat – and I’m fine with that. As a matter of fact, we co-exist quite peacefully. Now, if at some point during our relationship you approach me and tell me that you’re thinking of eating less meat, I’m not going to lie — I’ll be thrilled. In fact, at that point I’ll be so excited that I may or may not start talking really fast about all the benefits of going meat-free and all the fun, delicious things you can make. But you’ll have to forgive me for that.

funny-vegetables (Source)

5.) Because of #4, you don’t have to feel guilty when you eat meat in front of us. Go ahead, eat your steak. I promise I’m not shooting silent daggers at you as you chew. Most of us are just so happy we’ve found a delicious vegetarian option on the menu that we can’t stop thinking about it long enough to even focus on what you’re eating over there.

6.) You also don’t have to apologize for eating meat in front of us, or hide it from us because you think the very sight of it will make us sick. While I don’t particularly enjoy the look/smell of raw meat, I’m going to be honest with you – that bacon you’re eating actually smells pretty darn delicious. In fact, I may just lean over and breathe it in a few times if you don’t mind. But no, I don’t want to try it! I just want to experience the smell. Just like I inhale really deeply when I pass by a BBQ. Or if you found a really pretty flower or a delicious smelling candle. It’s not like meat becomes this repulsive thing the instant you decide to give it up. It’s just that after awhile, it stops being classified in your mind as something edible. Think of it as like a candle. You don’t want to eat it, you just want to appreciate it for its smell.

bacon candle(Source)

7.) Believe it or not, vegetarians tend to have pretty hearty appetites. We didn’t decide to give up eating good food, just meat. So that plate with lettuce and carrots that you’re calling a salad isn’t going to fill us up. Sorry, but we need substance in our meals too. Similarly, just because a dish is made from a bunch of vegetables that have been stewed together, it doesn’t mean we have to like it. Do you like every single dish that’s put in front of you just because it contains meat?

salad (Source)

8.) Vegetarianism does not equal activism. Although some vegetarians (and vegans) use their food choices as a platform for activism, not all of us do. Giving up meat and being political don’t necessarily go hand in hand. So just like we’re not going to preach to you, we’re also not going to start picketing on your front lawn equipped with “Save the cows!” signs.

9.) I know you’re trying to make us a meal we can enjoy, but sometimes we actually feel more guilty if you go out of your way. I realize it can be overwhelming to cook vegetarian dinners. I get nervous when non-vegetarians are coming over and I need to make something everyone can enjoy. And I really do appreciate the effort. But if you’re coordinating a huge meal and I’m the only vegetarian guest, please do not make me a special dish, or fret that I don’t have anything to eat. To be honest, we’re sort of used to being flexible in these situations. And I know I said above that a bed of lettuce doesn’t make a meal, but if I have to make it work, I will. Just make sure you serve some bread and dessert with dinner and I’ll be a happy camper.

10.) All that being said, we sometimes may seem like walking contradictions. Food choices don’t always make sense. We may say we eat dairy, but then tell you we don’t drink milk. Or be totally okay with picking around meat in a dish. And you better believe that if there’s a campfire and you’re making s’mores, I’m going to want in, gelatin and all.

vegetarian_vampire

But aren’t we all walking contradictions in some way? I mean, we’re only human after all. And we’re doing the best we can.

*The fine print: I probably shouldn’t have to say this, but I will…just in case. This post is meant to be tongue-in-cheek and not to offend any of you carnivores out there. Obviously I know meat eater does not equal idiot. But I also didn’t just make these things up. Just sayin…

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