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Confessions of a {Vegetarian} Long Distance Runner

I’ve been blogging for a little while now, and although I wouldn’t consider myself a seasoned blogger yet, I figure it’s time to come clean about a few things. So without further ado, here are my confessions…

I didn’t start running because I was some active, super energetic kid. Nope — I started running because I was bribed.

Maybe I’ll tell you more about that another time. But for now, let’s just say that if I had had my way, I would’ve spent my entire childhood curled up in a chair reading, writing little poems, and singing songs to myself all day.

LB_crate.jpgWhat can I say? I was a unique child.

Running made me less socially awkward.

This might not come as a surprise given the above statement, even though you and I both know that high school cross country teams aren’t exactly known for their “coolness.” But I never claimed that running cross country made me cool, did I? It just made me actually social.

Most (ok, all!) of my socks have holes in the toes.

LB socks holes

What can I say…I have long toes…? And I rarely bother with dress socks, either. I probably own 2 pairs of them (which I never wear). Why put on a pair of nice socks when I’m only going to have to change them later to go for a run? Function over fashion here people.

I am a carbohydrate addict. I run to fuel the carb-addiction, and not the other way around.

My dog is obsessed with ice cubes. Only, he thinks they’re called coffee.

Koli ice cube

Why? You might ask. Well — because I don’t want to be the only one in this house addicted to the stuff, that’s why! Basically the pup realized his obsession for ice over the summer when I was making iced coffee in the morning. Every time he’d hear me preparing coffee in the kitchen, he’d leap up from whatever he was doing and come charging in, hoping a piece of ice would drop so he could snatch it up. As soon as I noticed this, I started asking him, “Do you need your coffee??” and now he comes to get ice whenever I ask. I’ll admit I get a kick out of the fact that some days, coffee is the only thing that gets him out of bed. (You and me both, little buddy).

Koli

I am obsessed with Peanut Butter Puffins.

peanut butter puffins

I eat them by the handful. And even though they never actually make it into a bowl of cereal, I continue to buy more every time I go to the store (I’m also obsessed with shirts that have thumbholes).

I never run with the treadmill on an incline.

I know, I know. It’s totally not legit to keep the incline at 0.0. But I don’t care. I’m morally against raising that incline….or really I’m just stubborn. I tell myself that I don’t run on a treadmill enough for this to make a difference. And I almost believe it.

I don’t consider myself an expert at many things, but I am an expert carrot cake baker.

DSCN1752.JPG

I realize this is a bold statement. But not only is carrot cake the only non-chocolate dessert in my Top 5 Favorite Desserts list (yes, this list exists), but I also have a father and a boyfriend who both say it’s their favorite type of cake of all time. So I’ve had lots of practice, and I like to think I’ve perfected it by this point in my life. I like my own carrot cake so much, in fact, that I rarely (if ever) order it at a restaurant. Because chances are it won’t be as good. Sorry, but it’s true.

That being said, I can’t give people something I’ve baked without trying it first.

It doesn’t matter if I’ve made something 1 or 100 times. Baked goods must be tested before giving them away! What if something unexpected happened? This is easy to do with cookies or brownies (cut them up into pieces before serving) or even cupcakes. But it gets a little tricky when you start talking about cakes. Fortunately, I’ve found an indiscreet way to try the cake — just take a little piece out of the bottom of the 2nd layer. No one will be the wiser when it’s on top of a layer of frosting! Now if only I could find a way to do this with pie…

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I am not an expert home decorator.

I have good intentions, but I never get very far. Exhibit A: How Lauren Hangs a Picture

DSCN1732.JPG

That picture has been sitting there for months, waiting for me to buy more nails so I can hang it. But who am I kidding? It’ll be there till the day I move out.

Showers are optional on days I don’t exercise.

Now this is where my parents jump in to tell you that in high school I was known to come home from practice, eat dinner, do my homework, and go to bed…without showering (why waste the time when I’d have to do it again a few hours later??). But don’t worry Jen, I didn’t hang out in my sweaty running clothes all night. I left those in my gym locker for practice the next day.

When I run, I listen to songs that have words in them that I would never say out loud.

But maybe, just maybe, I say them in my head…

Ok, so now it’s your turn. Is there anything you need to get off your chest? Share it below!


36 Responses to Confessions of a {Vegetarian} Long Distance Runner

  1. i LOVE your confessions! i almost never shower unless i’ve “earned” it, and to earn it i must sweat. a lot. sometimes i go from friday until monday…if i don’t do a long run over the weekend.

    i never mess with the incline either. cause running on the treadmill is HARD for me, i don’t need another mental mountain to climb.

    and i never curse. like ever. but my running songs? “explicit” does show up from time to time…
    the dawn´s last post ..piecing it all together

    • haha what is it about those explicit running songs that make them so great to run to?? I never curse ever, but I can’t say the same for my music…

  2. I totally don’t raise the incline on the treadmill either. Running on the treadmill sucks enough as it is, why make it harder?

    I usually shower on days I don’t work out, but don’t wash my hair.

    Great list!
    Stephanie @ The Cookie Battle´s last post ..Lolita

  3. So many things on this post made me laugh. Leela is the same way about ice and whenever she hears the ice maker she comes running.
    I can’t even keep PB puffins in the house because I will eat the whole box in 48 hours!
    Also showers are DEFINITELY optional on no exercise days! I feel like I’m always showering because of 2-a-day workouts, so those cancel out the non-workout-day-no-showers :)
    Liz´s last post ..Long Time- No Blog

  4. :) I love this list!! First of all, what can I give you to make me an “expert-level” carrot cake someday?? Haha, it is my absolute favorite! I want to eat that piece up there for lunch.
    Peanut butter puffins are amazing and addictive – they never last longer than a week in my pantry. I will grab a handful before a run, after dinner, whenever – they’re an all-purpose snack!
    Your pup is adorable!! I want one of my own so badly.
    And maybe it’s the psychology nerd in me, but I find it fascinating to hear about how running has, in some ways, shaped your personality and influenced your life socially.
    My confession for the day: I don’t really do a lot of the things runners are “supposed” to do (like take ice baths, properly stretch, or limit ice cream consumption).

    • Ok so I am a psych nerd myself! My original plan actually was to get my PhD in psychology…before I got distracted by all this public health stuff. I think the shared psych-bond is definitely carrot cake worthy. ;)

      And I love your confession! I don’t do those things either. The honest truth — I’ve never taken a real ice bath in my life.

  5. Haha! These are so good. I especially like that you run to fuel the carb addiction :) And you’re pup is a cutie!!

    My confessions: I don’t run on an incline either. And I never stretch enough after my long runs.

  6. Oh my gracious, your dog is so precious! I just love that he loves icecubes too! Oreo loves them as well. We will ask him if he wants ice and he will run to the freezer and sit by it until we get there and get him a piece. Hehe!
    Rach´s last post ..The Workbench

  7. I go through boxes of peanut butter puffins about once every other day. They are like crack in my belly.

    I think holes in running socks just means you’re an awesome runner…at least that’s what I tell myself.

    Showering is sometimes optional even when I have worked out. (TMI?)

    My confession of the day: I am wearing compression sleeves AND compression socks under my pants at work.
    Emily´s last post ..While Visions of Mizunos Danced Through My Head

    • haha I love this whole comment! Puffins totally are like “crack in my belly”

      And I’ve only owned a pair of compression socks since Christmas. I’ve been thinking about wearing them to work all the time. Now that I know other people do it, I’m definitely going to!

  8. I feel like I know you just that much better with all your confessions, so funny Lauren! Oh, and my birthday is March 15th and would love one of those scrumptious carrot cakes ;) (hee,hee)
    My confession for today: I love pasta and a lot of times will even eat it plain but today I have it with some chicken and BBQ sauce.

  9. Great, now I’m craving puffins, mmm.

    This is such a cute, cute post! Bribed, that’s how I roll:)

    I liked hearing more about “you” – good to know the quirks that make us who we are.

    As for things I need to get off my chest — I hate people that get on the elliptical with no resistance, it’s like they’re on a swing, lol. Sorry that’s the thing that bugged me this morning. I thought this dude was going to fly off the thing.

    • Ahh! I was just thinking about that this morning! I never understand why people think circling their legs around at a million miles an hour with no resistance is doing anything for them.

  10. My dogs are obsessed with ice too!!! It’s their favorite treat, so they love when ice baths happen. Weirdos.
    Aron´s last post ..Signs your coworker might be training for a marathon

  11. I LOVE that picture of you in the dog crate – so cute! And your puppy! Ugh! I’m so jealous :)
    Erin @ Big Girl Feats´s last post ..Interrupted

  12. OH that carrot cake looks AMAZING! That is my fave dessert buy I havent had it since I found out i was gluten intolerant :(

  13. I don’t do the incline on the treadmill either. And I don’t change my sheets as often as I probably should. Gross, but true.
    Lee´s last post ..Dinner with Husbands

  14. Is it creepy that I am envisioning us sitting on the couch in our holy socks while eating carrot cake? Probably surrounded by animals….

    I love this post! I am super social, but also super awkward (which may be obvious at this point), but that’s okay. It’s great to know I’m not alone!
    Becky´s last post ..Stronger

  15. I love this!!!! I also am a huge believer in only taking “real showers” when I have to- like after a sweaty run. OTherwise its totally not worth it… haha
    And can you make that carrot cake for me sometime??? I love carrot cake!
    Lizzy´s last post ..My Favorite Things &amp Tempo Thursday

  16. 1. I love the little songs you made up as a child. Especially when they were nasty ones about any other sister besides me.
    2. I love peanut butter puffins and am sometimes a little disgusted at myself when I eat the entire box in about 2 days. I try to tell myself that they are mostly air, but I don’t know if that’s entirely the truth….
    3. I love Kole-man’s “coffee” addiction.
    4. I love showering way too much. I hate going to bed feeling unclean. Even if I showered in the morning, if I have a particularly rigorous game of Just Dance 2 in the evening, (hey we all know that, if done right, that game can make you sweat a LOT) I have to jump in the shower and rinse off before going to bed. The thought of you getting into bed with your dry sweat germs on your skin and then getting all over your sheets kind of makes me nauseous.

    • Luckily for you they usually were about a sister other than you. ;)

      And I love showering, I just hate getting ready after the shower. Somedays it’s just not worth it. All I know is that you better watch out. Next time I visit I’ll be climbing into YOUR bed with all my dry sweat germs on my skin.

  17. I LOVE this list. Too funny! I’m actually interested to hear more about how you were bribed to run ;)
    I must try this amazing carrot cake someday! And I am always embarassed by my holey socks. It’s nuts. Where do the holes come from?
    Haha, and this probably doesn’t surprise you, but I shower like 3 times a day. But I only wash my hair every other day. That counts as a confession, right?
    Jen´s last post ..Run less- Om more

    • Hmmm… I don’t know if that cuts it Jen. I mean, hairdressers recommend that you only wash your hair every other day. It’s better for it! I’m not sure if anyone says the same thing about not showering…

      And someday, if I ever get around to writing my ode to running, I’ll talk more about the bribery that led to an addiction. Funny to think I used to have to be bribed to do something that I now spend way too much money to do (from gear and gym memberships and race fees…it’s never ending!)

  18. I can totally echo the point about song lyrics! When I was a child, I used to love to sit in the nook/foot area under desks…. we didn’t have a dog cage for me to try :)

  19. Warren and I love carrot cake, too, and would say a grateful “kale Mary” at any opportunity to take a sabbatical from our diet and indulge in a piece of carrot cake. Molly used to make them for the youth group dessert auction, and they regularly fetched a tidy sum for the youth group treasury because people knew they could bid us up without worrying that we were not going to be outbid for that cake.

  20. Carrot cake is my faavorite! And I agree… no exercise = no shower :)

  21. Your confessions are HILARIOUS, Lauren! I think we all have a list of those – I go for days without hairwashing if I haven’t exercised. Oh, and carrot cake is my FAVORITE non-chocolate dessert – I may show up on your doorstep for a slice one day ;)

    I don’t know what it is with dogs and ice?? Maddie always runs off with pieces in the summer and leaves telltale trails of water and ice chips all over the house. Silly pup :)

  22. I’m definitely with everyone on not showering unless I’ve worked out or had a good sweat. That’s why they make perfume, right? As for a confession, I don’t wash sheets or jeans as often as I probably should.

    And will you be sharing that carrot cake recipe any time soon???

    • Oh I never wash jeans unless absolutely necessary. ;)

      And I debated whether or not to post the recipe. It’s not healthy by any means, but I probably should put it up, anyway…just because so many people say they love carrot cake. At the very least, it gives me an excuse to make another one so I can take pictures.

  23. Hahaha I love this!!

    I have soooooo many socks with holes in them and my parents yell at me every time I go home. I think I need to cut my toenails more or buy socks that cost more than a dollar…who knows.

    Is there any way you could post/send me the carrot cake recipe?? I promised someone baked good of their choice, and that was their choice, but I don’t actually like carrot cake so I’ve never made it. I would love a tried and true recipe from a real expert. :)

    Confession of the day: I’ve spent all day working on my blog/reading blogs…I sometimes wonder what I would if I didn’t spend so much time on blogs…
    Susan´s last post ..2011 Manhattan Half Race Report

  24. Other countries censor content and not just rogue regimes such as the Iranian mullocracy. Poor people! http://www.baidu.com

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