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I have a running ego. Which is not really news to anyone who knows me, I guess. While I have no delusions about the level of my ability, I do take pride in being able to run certain paces, conquer certain distances…and pass lots of people. I’d like to say that said ego has disappeared since finding out I’m pregnant but…no such luck.

I may not be out there speeding up when I pass people I know or glancing at my watch near the end of a mile and picking up the pace so my split clocks in at 7:59 instead of 8:01, but I still do silly little things to make myself feel better about my current abilities. Like standing up straight and lengthening my stride to make it appear that I’m moving faster when I pass fellow runners. Or pushing the pace for the last mile just to see if I can get my overall average down just a bit.

And I hate catching my reflection in store windows…though I always look (I can’t help it!). I find myself excited for the days when I’m toting around a noticeable bump instead of just a protruding gut.

I’m also a running hypocrite. I would tell anyone else in my situation that she was being absolutely ridiculous and no one even notices (worry about yourself, you idiot!). But accepting the ridiculousness of my behavior has done nothing to change it.

Another way that I’m a hypocrite: I never really liked those “running for two shirts” (sorry, but I don’t!). Except now that I am pregnant I find myself wanting to purchase one so I can wear it on every single run. Again, no one cares about this stuff but me. Nor do they want it rubbed in their faces (#pregnantmotherrunner coming through!). But like I said, I have a running ego.

Speaking of which, how do we feel about the sports bra + pregnant belly combination? I can’t say I haven’t already been considering it…once I have a belly to show, that is. Hey – it’s summer and it’s hot…and in my mind I’m going to look just as amazing as Paula Radcliffe or Lauren Fleshman.

Pregnant lauren fleshman(Source)

Please don’t burst my bubble now…I’m sure that’ll happen naturally.

No matter how many times I go to the bathroom before leaving on a run, I always have to pee within the first mile. I don’t know where all that liquid comes from, but that urge seems to be getting harder to control. At this point I’m able to wait it out, but I’m starting to think that won’t last forever. So I’ve recently been trying to scope out some good “pit stop” locations along my favorite routes. The only problem is, I run mostly through neighborhoods and along well-traveled roads…neither of which provide for much privacy. My solution? I’ve been contemplating just “letting it flow” when the time comes. .

…or maybe I just need to find some more adventurous running routes.

Remember when I posted this story about my dad, which featured a photo of him racing in some sweet star-spangled short-shorts? Well, my mom had a matching pair (yes, they wore them during the same race. I love my parents) and has graciously passed them along to me. I cannot wait to rock them during the 4th of July 4-miler we’re doing next week. In fact, it’s pretty much the sole reason I signed up for the race.

star spangled running shortsI hope these still fit by next week. Though who am I kidding? I’ll squeeze into them regardless.

Now if only my dad had given his pair to Evan so we could match…

I have never been a morning runner. But you know this already. Pretty much every summer, I make a bold proclamation about how I’m going to start running first thing in the morning. But then after a few weeks I’m back to my old ways. It’s not that I can’t run in the morning…I just hate doing it before I’m well fed and caffeinated.

But now here I am once again attempting to climb back on the AM-run bandwagon (I fear I’m starting to sound like a broken record). This time because I have another person to worry about. Last week’s high temperatures made me realize that if I want to keep running through this pregnancy, I need to suck it up and start making morning runs a habit. The humidity in the morning sucks, but it’s better than running in 80+ degree heat. So this week I’ve started “LB becomes a morning runner attempt #5.” We’ll see if this one sticks.

I need new running shoes. Actually – I’ve needed them since April. But I’ve been holding off because I’m secretly afraid that I’m going to need something more supportive as I get bigger. I have to admit that I only just accepted the stupidity of this logic. First of all, the shoes work for me now, so continuing to run in my old ones will do nothing except increase the likelihood that I’ll get injured. And secondly, if the day comes when I do have to make the switch, I can put my Mirages on the shelf until post-pregnancy. Either way, it’s not a waste of money.

I still haven’t ordered them. Just like I’ve been holding off on buying new sports bras (well, besides one…but there’s only so many times you can wear these things before they need to be washed). I’m sure I’ll look back and wonder why I spent so much time making myself uncomfortable. But I’m stubborn.

I spend a lot more time than I should looking down at my feet when I run these days. Because I’m finally starting to see a little bump. And I have to admit that I kind of like the view.

pregnant running bump_14 weeks.jpg


12 Responses to Runfessions

  1. Wooohooo! Awesome shorts! And I LOVE the belly+sports bra combo. Rock it!

    I’ll bet 99% of runners have the “running ego.” Why shouldn’t we? We get out there and get it done (almost) every day.

    Liz @FitLizzy´s last post ..Snow White and The Beautiful Run!

  2. Ahhhh! Love the runfessions! I always thought the “running for two” shirts were cheesy but I caved on my last baby and bought one. Come to think of it I caved on a lot of stuff my last baby. Maternity pictures, matching car seat & stroller combo and the list goes on. I was pretty frugal with my first two and with # 4 I knew it was my last go around so I did it all! No regrets! :-)

    I do the same thing with pace games on my watch. a 7:59 DOES sound so much better than an 8:00- something. I will glance at my reflection in a store window too but just to check if I “look” like a runner. Pathetic, I know.

    As far as bathroom stops- it only gets 10X worse. Sorry. When that baby is pushing on your bladder and feels like a little bowling ball there is nothing to do but stop and pee! I had to pretty much plan every route around maximum bathroom locations. An easy 5 mile run would include 2-3 stops.

    Keep the preggo pics coming!! And LOVE those 4th of July shorts!
    Tia @ Arkansas Runner Mom´s last post ..Summer Runnin: Things I’m Lovin!

  3. I’m jealous that you got the shorts. You are going to rock those sweet things in your race!!
    Christina Lynne´s last post ..A man and his babe.

  4. i peed 3 times last saturday and i covered 11 miles. THREE TIMES?!?! i can’t even imagine what i will be like later in the 2nd trimester.

    i look like i have a persistent food baby…24-7. i’m going on vacation at the end of july and will be rocking the 2-piece. that’s all i own and i refuse to buy a tankini. i’m hoping my stomach doesn’t decide to “blossom” right before vacation.

    i love those shorts for your 4th of july race. pics, please!!!!
    Kristy´s last post ..the good and the bad

  5. After a 5k I did at 12 weeks pregnant and wasn’t really showing, I made sure to state loudly {pretending to talk to my husband}–”not too bad for being pregnant.” :S

    Awesome shorts btw!
    Renee @ Renee Runs Miles´s last post ..Navicular Pain

  6. The having to pee within the first mile thing started to subside for me late in the second trimester. No idea why! I remember I mapped out a 1 mile loop from my apartment – I would run the first mile, go back home to pee, and then head out again for a few more. ha.

    It’s really, really hard to let go of speed goals. :( I know! I decided after my last race that I’d focus more on trying to get the miles in every week – my goal has been to run in miles the number of weeks I have left (so at 32 weeks, I’ll attempt 8 miles this week).

    I have not changed shoes or shoe sizes since in pregnancy. I always wore neutral shoes before – I never got into racing flats or minimalist shoes. These days I’ve been wearing my Asics 1170′s and NB 890s. But I haven’t experienced any foot widening/changing or swelling – so I would say just stick with what you know and order your same size!

    Those shorts are amazing. I love it when a good race outfit comes together! :) And no worries about looking at your feet – it’s probably a good thing! I am much more clumsy these days and I have to watch my feet to make sure I don’t trip or stumble.
    Christen´s last post ..Sort-of RWP – 31 Weeks

    • I think that’s a really good goal! I keep trying to adjust my mentality to exactly that — getting in the miles is more important than the speed right now. In one way it can be sort of freeing. When I’m actively training, speed is something I think about constantly. Being able to go out and run at whatever easy pace I want is more relaxing…if I would just let myself let go of that old training mentality.

  7. Your little bump is so cute!

    Is it horrible if I say, “Oh, just wait” about the peeing?

    I’ve never had issues needing new shoes – but everyone is different. I agree that you can always shelve them if you end up needing something else! No go buy those shoes so you don’t hurt yourself.
    Michelle´s last post ..35

    • Yes it’s horrible!! haha But I know deep down that it’s only going to get worse. Might as well be prepared for it…

  8. I’m jealous that you can still see your feet from above…I realized quite suddenly a couple of weeks ago that I could NOT, and it made me sad. I knew I couldn’t reach them, but wasn’t aware until then that I couldn’t SEE them either. Sadface :(

    I say go for it with the sports bra/shorts combo. I would have if the weather had coincided with “cute but not huge feeling” bump time for me but alas it did not. So instead my neighbors get to see me in my bikini top and bottoms, parading around the backyard to maneuver myself in and out of my baby pool. Once you get to a certain point, you have no shame…at least, I don’t.

    If you think runner’s ego is bad now, wait ’til you’re obviously pregnant and still running…it’s a huge ego boost. Other runners LOOOVE pregnant runners. It’s kind of fun :)

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