Posts Tagged by confessions
Taper Confessions
| October 23, 2012 | Posted by Lauren under Marathon Training, Running |
I have used this marathon training cycle as an excuse to give up on all forms of strength training. I know this is dumb and I really have no excuse (other than laziness, that is). Not only does regular strength training help running, but I’m not even running enough miles per week to justify cutting it out.
These days, the only type of upper body strength exercises I’m doing is carrying my handheld water bottle on long runs (same thing, right…?).
(Source)
To make up for my pancake flat run last week, for this week’s long run I chose one of the hilliest routes by my house. Just for comparison, last week I started out at 3 feet above sea level and climbed a grand total of 107 feet over the course of 20ish miles. This week I started around 840 feet and climbed 1,236 feet over the course of 14.5 miles.
Second 15ish miles of my run in Florida (I re-started the watch after the first 5.5). Those tiny peaks are bridges…
vs….. 14.5 miles in Vermont.
On the bright side, it also meant I got to run down over 1,000 feet. Can’t complain about that!
And although those hills seemed to grow in my absence, I stand by what I said before — hills and cool air over flat and humidity any day! Maybe it’s because I’m finally getting used to this particular type of torture. More likely, it’s because the entire run was perfect. High 50s, a mix of sun and clouds, country roads, mountain views, falling leaves…in short, my running paradise.
Okay, so this isn’t really from my run. But it’s fall in New England…and I like it.
In the past, my love for running and my love for training have always gone hand-in-hand. If one was down, the other would be too. These days, however, my love for running far outweighs my love for actual training. My love for running increased dramatically after the knee injury. My love for training – not so much. Maybe it was too much, too soon. Maybe I’m just burned out on marathons. Regardless, it’s made me re-evaluate many of my running goals for 2013.
Related: I have dreaded my long runs this marathon training cycle. This one is especially tough to admit, since long runs are the building blocks of training. And if you hate doing them, why train for a marathon (great question)?? Unfortunately, for the past several months most of my long runs have been really tough — physically and mentally. Until yesterday’s. It was (by far!) the best long run I’ve had during my entire time of training. I ran completely by feel and felt so strong the entire way. Where has this girl been for the past few months? It was almost enough to make me fall in love with marathons again…almost.
Whenever I hear anything about the hills in the New York City Marathon, there’s this tiny snotty voice in the back of my mind that scoffs and says: “clearly they don’t train in Vermont!” Obviously I have no right to feel this way…seeing as I’ve only lived here for a few months and am still not very good at running up those things. I have a feeling I’m going to regret this attitude in a few weeks. So yes, you all can laugh at me and roll your eyes when I complain about how long the climb up the Queensboro bridge felt…or the endless seeming hills through Central Park. Everything feels harder during a marathon.
This past weekend, the Conkey men invaded Vermont for “Horror Movie Weekend.” We basically did nothing but watch scary movies (including the new Paranormal Activity 4 – go see it!!) for 3 days straight. Which means I’ve gotten about 0 hours of sleep ever since. Not exactly the best preparation for a long run.
But one benefit of being unemployed: there’s no real pressure to fit in a long run over the weekend if the timing doesn’t work out (or if I’m sleep deprived). Yesterday I ran 14.5 miles on a Monday afternoon, just because I could. And it was amazing.
I am convinced that one of our cats has made it his mission in life to suffocate me during the night. I can’t even tell you how many times in the past couple of weeks I’ve woken up to find him lying on my chest (combine that with the horror movie fest above, and you can see why I’ve gotten no sleep lately). When he’s not on my chest, he has taken to sleeping in other super uncomfortable, inconvenient positions.
This is no tiny cat, either…
I hate ice baths. Hate them. Outside of the torture I received in those metal tubs in the trainer’s office during college, I’ve taken maybe 2 ice baths in my entire running career. I can’t say that this is necessarily the best strategy, and I know some of you swear by them. But now that the temperature is dropping, the last thing I want to do after a run is sit in a tub for 20 minutes while freezing and wet. I much prefer recovery methods that involve dry clothes and warmth.
Luckily I get to try out a new type of recovery aid this time around. I’ve had e-stim in the past with great results, but I haven’t actually used the Compex unit enough to be able to say for sure whether it makes a big difference (stay tuned). But I do know that I’ll take twitching muscles over freezing baths any day.
Compex e-stim + Pro Compression + liquid carbs = recovery perfection
I haven’t actually thought much about how it’s going to feel to run Ragnar less than a week after completing NYCM. I mean…I know it’s happening. I just haven’t really let it all sink in. At this point I’m thinking denial is the way to go. I won’t let my legs think about the fact that they have to race again so soon after the marathon until I arrive in Vegas.
I think it is impossible to go into a big race without any goals whatsoever. That being said, my goals for NYCM are more in terms of “Priority A,” “Priority B,” etc, instead of being related to any specific times.
Although I am excited to run the New York City Marathon, I have to admit that I’m even more excited for the pre/post-race festivities: a sleepover with Emily and Ali and a mini reunion with some of my teammates from HTC. Those things alone are worth going to NYC for.
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On that note: Does anyone have any great New York City Marathon posts to share? I want to read about it and get myself pumped up! And if you are running the marathon, you should read this post: Why the New York Marathon Is the Best Marathon in the World. While I can’t really support her claim yet (and not sure if I ever will…Boston has such a big place in my heart), it’s the perfect post to get you excited about NYCM.
Confessions of an Injured Runner
| April 30, 2012 | Posted by Lauren under Running |
You may have noticed that I haven’t really blogged much lately. (And if you haven’t, that’s okay. I know you all have actual lives that involve more than refreshing my blog for a new post). At first it was because things got crazy and I just needed a break to get my life together.
But lately? To be perfectly honest, I’ve sort of been avoiding all things blog-related. Not because I suddenly hate it, but because when you write a running blog and are no longer really able to run, you sort of run out of things to write about (pun most definitely intended).
There’s only so many times you can say: “Yep. My knee still hurts. Nope, I’m not really running,” and lament about the fact that you can feel yourself getting more out of shape by the minute. So instead, I’ve been saving those complaints for EC. And sparing you all the monotony.
But in case any of you were dying for updates, I’ve put together a consolidated list of all the things I’ve been thinking for the past month and a half…but have been a little too ashamed to admit.
Confessions of an Injured Runner
Coming to terms with a running injury is like handling any sort of grief. It’s normal to go through stages as you learn to cope:
Denial: I’m not injured. So what if it hurts to walk. I just tweaked something. Give me a few days and I’ll be as good as new.
Anger: This sucks. I hate my body. Why does it fail me all the time?? What did I do to deserve this?
Bargaining: Look, body, I know that you’re hurting. But I promise if you please just let me run without pain, I will never mistreat you again. Please, just one run without pain. I promise if you do that for me, I will love running every single day of my life. I will never ever complain again.
Depression/Despair: I will never run again for as long as I live. What’s the point of even hoping. My life is over.
Acceptance: Okay, so maybe I need to take a break for a little while. If I rehab and stay smart now, I will be back running soon. Rest now will make me stronger than ever.
What is probably not so normal is the fact that I’ve been cycling back to depression/despair more often than I would like to admit. Every time I come to a place that seems like acceptance, when a few days go by and I’m still in pain, I go right back to feeling as though I’ll never run again. Logically I know I’m being ridiculous. I know that my injury isn’t really all that bad. And that there’s a chance I’m being just a tad over-dramatic. But logic doesn’t always win.
Plus, letting myself wallow in despair gives me an excuse to be lazy. And sometimes, being lazy is much easier than sticking to an awful cross training regimen.
Meanwhile, EC is running more and faster than ever before. I don’t know why he chose the time that I’m sidelined to take running seriously, but it’s secretly driving me nuts. Just the other day, he went out for a 5 mile run and effortlessly kept a 7:25 pace. I don’t know whether to be proud or hate his guts.
I guess I can’t really blame him though. With places like this all around, it’s really hard to not run.
See this trail? I want nothing more than to run up it every single day.
I have been taking the news of other runners’ awesome training and amazing race performances with an odd mixture of excitement and depression. This is the fact that I’m probably the least proud of. And the biggest reason why I’ve cut back on my participation in the blog-world. Even though I am very happy for these people, reading about the success of others further highlights your own failings.
I have not been as good about rehabbing my knee as I’d maybe like you all to believe. I blame it on that whole despair thing. And on the mixed messages I received from the orthopedic doc I saw a few weeks ago. While I’ve been stretching, rolling, and taking anti-inflammatory meds like clockwork, I haven’t been great about icing regularly. Or not running at all.
Back at the end of March, I took a full week off of running and just expected my knee to be magically better (spoiler alert: it wasn’t). But ever since my doctor’s appointment when I was told that I could run every other day and that “running won’t do permanent damage” I ended my self-imposed running ban. If a doctor says I could do it, who am I to argue? Plus, with EC being all into running, it’s hard for me to turn down an offer to tag along.
At this point, I’ve tried everything. I got inserts for my shoes. I hated them. I’ve tried different styles of shoes – everything from more supportive to more minimal. Last week, I had myself convinced that if I wore shoes with a low heel-toe offset, focused on my form, and shortened my stride, my knee problems would go away. And it worked – for a few miles. Without fail, 2 or so miles into my run, the pain always comes back.
At this point, I’ve tried everything – EXCEPT for real, sustained time off. Yes, I took a week off in March, but since then I’ve tried running a couple of times a week. And where has that gotten me? Only a little bit better and infinitely more frustrated.
Because when it comes down to it, I am awful at taking my own advice. I can talk to Ali all day long about the benefits of rest. But have I actually been doing it? When I look back at the past couple of weeks, the truth is I have not. Running less is not the same as not running at all.
While I do think there are some mechanical issues with my stride/form that contribute to the pain, clearly changing how I run isn’t going to make it suddenly go away (though hopefully might help prevent injury in the future). I think it’s about time I come to terms with the fact that the only thing that will is time off. I’m trying hard to move into this whole acceptance phase and stay there. Stay tuned.
During those few moments when I’ve moved on from the feelings of despair, I’ve been scheming. Recent Google searches have included “fast fall marathons” and prices for plane tickets to the western part of the country.
I like the sound of that
But more than my desire to run fast is this overwhelming urge to just RUN. To feel the wind in my hair, the blood pumping in my veins, the feeling of my heart about to beat out of my chest. To once again lose myself in a long run. To know that my legs carried me for miles from town to town. To feel strong. To move without pain. What I wouldn’t give for a run without pain.
My biggest confession as an injured runner? I am not handling things well. Not all the time, anyway. I know that life is good and that my injury is not all that serious. And that (hopefully) in a few month’s time, this will all be a distant memory. Sometimes it’s just hard to see the forest through the trees.
Confessions of a {Vegetarian} Long Distance Runner – Part 3
| December 12, 2011 | Posted by Lauren under LifeontheRun |
I’m still fully committed to this “no running tights in December” thing (I’d call it No Pants December for the sake of simplicity, but I’m not quite sure that sends the same message), even though the day after I wrote the post, it started to get colder. In fact, to show my strong commitment to the cause, I’ve made a button for the sidebar. Because if you put something like that on your blog, it means it’s official (obviously).
I know most of you are just passing me off as a crazy person, but for those of you who do want to join, feel free to grab a button and let me know – I can make a participant page.
The truth is, I couldn’t back out now, even if I wanted to. After receiving this lovely comment from my Dad, I have no choice but to keep pushing through. I don’t really want to come home for Christmas to face a bunch of “I told you so’s.”
Even though, I hate to admit…he’s probably right
During my run yesterday, my legs got so numb that it stopped feeling like I was wearing shorts. Fortunately a quick glance down at my legs confirmed that my pants had not mysteriously disappeared into thin air. That would’ve been a little awkward.
I’m telling myself that numb legs will make me run faster, since they will be so cold that I can’t feel how fast I’m running. On yesterday’s run, I picked up speed going down a hill and then proceeded to run the last 4 miles progressively faster – finishing up with a last mile in 7:00 minutes. I couldn’t feel my legs the entire time.
I still haven’t washed the blood off of my marathon shoe, much to the disgust of certain family members. But as far as I’m concerned, a bloody toebox is a badge of honor. Plus, it’s fading anyway.
Yep, there’s that bloody toe again. You’re welcome.
I’m lucky that I work in a place that doesn’t really care about fashion, since I basically cycle through the same handful of outfits every week. Whatever is not dirty or wrinkled when I pull it out of my closet is what I end up wearing to work that day.
Speaking of work, another one of my sisters is moving to Florida next month, which means I’ll have 3 family members living down there with easy access to the beach. Since I still don’t have any job prospects, I’m {more than} half tempted to just go down on an extended “vacation” in February. There could be worse things, right?
EC and I are going to be on TV talking about how much we love skating at the Bank of America rink in Providence, even though neither of us really knows how to skate. Why we agreed to be filmed for this is beyond me, seeing as the last time I had done any sort of ice skating was on a cruise ship 5 years ago.
We may have looked like idiots on the ice, but at least we had new hats for the occasion. (Related confession: I always, always spell occasion wrong. How many c’s and how many s’s does the word have?? I can never remember.)
I recently discovered chocolate vodka, and may never be the same again. I’m not a big drinker (what can I say, I prefer my indulgences to be of the high fat, high sugar, high chocolate variety), but when you combine alcohol with chocolate, the results are amazing. Let’s just say that it goes down real easy when chilled in the freezer for a few hours (and paired with homemade coconut macaroons).
I still haven’t finished my Christmas shopping even after a long trip to the Outlets this weekend and countless other hours spent online. At this point, I have more gifts picked out for my dog than my brother-in-law.
In my defense, Koli isn’t really that picky.
I thought about sending out Christmas cards this year and just including a picture of the dog. Nobody really needs to see me anyway.
Unfortunately, I’m not sure most of the members of my extended family would really appreciate this.
Maybe next year, little man.
And finally, THIS:
Dear family – please see your Christmas gift below. The Forever Lazy may embody all that is wrong with this country, but who doesn’t need one? I mean, heating costs do get expensive. And it has a bum-hatch!! (Please watch at 1:14).
Click here if embedded video doesn’t work.
To read more confessions:
Confessions of a {Vegetarian} Long Distance Runner – Part 1
Confessions of a {Vegetarian} Long Distance Runner – Part 2
The Great Running Tight Boycott of 2011
| December 7, 2011 | Posted by Lauren under Running |
As winter draws nearer, I’ve realized there’s something about me that you all should know. Something that sort of makes me feel like less of a runner to admit. Are you ready for it?
I hate running tights. HATE them. (Phew – just saying that has already made my chest feel lighter.)
I would run in shorts all year round if I could. The only thing is, I live in New England. And in this part of the country, my hatred for running tights is only tempered by my desire to not make running a miserable experience. So in an effort to keep my legs from falling off during long runs on freezing winter mornings, I give in and resort to wearing tights. It’s a necessary evil, of sorts.
I know some runners out there love them. They can’t wait to slip into those skin tight leggings as soon as the temperature drops. They apparently love the feel against their legs and are convinced that it makes them feel fast as they cut through the air.
But I disagree. I put those things on and immediately feel constricted. My legs can’t move as well, there is always extra fabric, and the crotch (that dang crotch!) is always falling down. I spend more time trying to adjust the stupid things than anything else.
Instead my legs long for freedom. To move however they want; to feel the wind against my quads. No, I don’t need to run naked, but I will always wear shorts for as long as I can manage without my legs freezing and falling off.
In case you’re wondering, I don’t feel the same way about tops. In fact, my absolute favorite running outfit is a long sleeve shirt (spandex or not) and shorts. Not only does the long sleeve + shorts combo pretty much signify perfect running temperatures, but it’s also so comfortable – burying my hands in the sleeves, using the sleeves to wipe my snot or the water running out of my eyes. What could be better? (being a runner is attractive, no?)
Yesterday, 6 days into the month of December, I went out running in shorts. It was dark. It was rainy. But it was warm (relatively speaking) and my heart was happy. As I ran along in shorts and a t-shirt, I started wondering – just how long can I stretch this out? How many days can I go before I have to resort to the tights? Another week? Until the end of the month?
When I happened to be talking to my Dad later on in the evening, I casually mentioned the fact that I wanted to try to avoid wearing running tights for the rest of the year. He responded by laughing. He warned me that I might feel fine now, but the cold front would come. Temperatures would drop. And then my short-loving legs weren’t going to be so happy. I don’t think he really believed I was serious.
But I am serious. So serious that I’m taking my movement public. I’m shouting it out to the millions few dozen of you who read my blog: the Great Running Tight Boycott has begun! From now until the first day of 2012, this runner will not wear a single pair of long spandex pants to run. The gauntlet has been thrown; the challenge accepted. Mother Nature – this month, it’s me vs. you.
Officially Unofficial Rules for the Most Inane Boycott Ever Great Running Tight Boycott of 2011
- Participant recognizes the stupidity and pointlessness of the boycott, yet chooses to participate anyway.
- Participant will only run in approved running bottoms until Jan 1, 2012.
- Approved running bottoms are those that fall above the knee, and does not include long spandex tights or capris.
- Although every effort will be made to run outside as much as possible, participant reserves the right to run on the treadmill. (Participant actually likes treadmill running, okay??) Just as long as it isn’t every single day.
Sometimes this boycott will mean that I need to be a little creative with my running outfits. I may need to pull out the long socks or even the one pair of leg warmers that I own – a gift from my favorite leg-warmer-wearing-jazz-hand-waving runner. I know she will approve. But it will be worth it. Running in high socks beats running in tights any day of the week.
This December, my legs choose freedom. My legs choose not to be held in or confined. My legs choose to face the wind, the cold, all the elements of winter weather. And they will hold strong against it.
What about yours? Will your legs stand strong and boycott the awfulness that is running tights with me?
Confessions of a {Vegetarian} Long Distance Runner–Part 2
| June 29, 2011 | Posted by Lauren under LifeontheRun |
When it comes to recycling, I’m a little obsessive-compulsive. No, I’m not going to come to your house and pick your recyclables out of the trash, but I do find that I am physically incapable of throwing my own plastic bottles away.
No, not my bags – that picture was lost when my computer got crushed. But you get the idea.
(Source)
This proved to be a bit of a problem when I found out that my new apartment doesn’t have recycling pick up (the horror!). Fortunately, I quickly learned that you can bring your recycling to Whole Foods and recycle it there. So every week, I schlep my bags of recyclables over to the grocery store. Perfectly normal, I assure you.
Yet I can never actually remember to bring my reusable shopping bags with me when I go grocery shopping. It’s okay to keep taking new bags as long as I recycle them, right?? Don’t answer that.
On a run, if I look at my watch near the end of a mile to see that my split is averaging out to just over the 8:00/mile mark, I speed up for the last bit until my average pace drops below 8:00. Because obviously there’s a huge difference between a 7:59 and an 8:01 mile.
No matter how fast I’m actually going, running in the rain makes me feel like I’m flying. On rainy days I leave my watch at home so as to not ruin the illusion.
I have the same lunch every.single.day. No really. Okay, so sometimes the type of bread changes, but nothing can compete with my beloved tempeh, avocado, spinach, tomato and cheese sandwich. Nothing.
Okay, so my sandwich doesn’t look quite this fancy…but almost
(Source)
Speaking of bread – my sister got me a bread machine for my birthday. It is both my most treasured appliance and the bane of my existence. I’ve been averaging a new loaf of bread a week…of which, EC is lucky if he gets one slice.
If anyone has any awesome bread machine recipes, please send them my way!
I am running the Marine Corps Marathon this fall simply because it’s on my list of “must run” marathons. But I have no idea how it got there, since the only real exposure I’ve had to it is the one miserable year my parents ran in the late 90’s. Not only was it pouring rain and cold, but within the first few miles, my mom was knocked over by an overly ambitious marine, twisted her ankle on a curb, and spent a good deal of time in the medical tent. While she ultimately finished the race (my mom is pretty bada** if you didn’t know), I didn’t exactly leave the race marveling over how fun and exciting it was.
I’m spending the week in San Diego for a conference and the thing I’ve been most excited about (hand’s down!) is running around the city. There’s no better way to explore.
And, trust me…if you got to wake up in the morning to this view, you’d be excited about running too.
(Source)
But unlike so many other running bloggers I follow, I hate running in the morning. Hate it. I would rather deal with the heat of the afternoon than slog through the early morning humidity (though I am working to change this, for the sake of my own physical health).
Except when I’m traveling. For some reason, when I’m in a new place, I look forward to getting up early and starting the day off with a run. I stopped trying to understand this a long time ago.
Whenever I’m traveling somewhere, or at some kind of conference with lots of people, I scope out everyone around me. If I see someone wearing a running watch, dri-fit shirt, or carrying around a backpack with running shoes tied on, I instantly like them. And if you’re wearing a Boston jacket or a Garmin, watch out – I’m probably going to want to be best friends.
I still have my March marathon training plan tacked up next to my desk. I haven’t looked at the thing in 3 months, but I won’t be taking it down until I can replace it with a new one next week.
I love free samples. Of anything. So much so that my habit of seeking out “free things” was a running joke with my college friends. If we’re at Whole Foods together on a weekend, you better believe I’ll weave around the store trying everything before I do any shopping. And please don’t tell me how many germs are hiding in those sample bowls. I don’t want to hear it.
(Source)
While food quality is important, EC and I rate restaurants based on how nice their restrooms are. We have a very complex scoring algorithm for rating each new place that we try. All our favorite places have fancy (clean) bathrooms.
Ever since EC told me I could start borrowing his fancy camera a few months ago, he has created a monster. I’m now convinced that I’m pretty much a professional photographer, and have more photos of random things than I’ll ever use.
I am unbelievably, embarrassingly clumsy. I don’t mean to be, but if I’m not falling and hurting myself, I’m accidentally knocking into other people’s stuff.
For the record, I do not know this family.
But to the Rodriguez’s – I’m so sorry for the less than straight rows I’m sure you found your picture frames in the next morning. I hope you had a wonderful wedding all the same.
Even though I miss my Mac, I have to admit that using a PC since my computer’s unfortunate accident has put me in blogging heaven. I hate to admit it, but nothing compares to Windows Live Writer (dear Apple – why can’t you get on the ball with that??).
I fessed up, now it’s your turn. What confessions do you need to get off your chest this week?
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